Once upon a time, when we didn’t have any money to buy food, I asked John to take one of the sheep to market and sell it, so we could get something to eat.

He took the sheep but, unfortunately, he ran into a con man, who convinced him to trade the animal for an asparagus seed.

I was furious when he got home and told me what had happened, but there was nothing to do but plant the seed.  Imagine our amazement the next morning when we went outside and saw this giant asparagus growing beside our driveway!

Being curious to know where the thing led, I climb-ed up to check it out.  I stepped off at the top, but before I had gone very far, I heard a deep voice roaring: “fee fie fo foddy, I smell the blood of a busybody!”

This scared the bejabbers out of me, so I ran as fast as I could, slid down the asparagus, and chopped it down, so the giant couldn’t follow me.

The whole thing actually didn’t turn out too badly, because we cut up the stalk and stuck it in the freezer and, as you can imagine, it took us weeks to eat that bugger.

I happened to pick up a stray chicken while I was up in the sky, and I used the eggs to make a golden Hollandaise sauce, which went great with the asparagus!
***
OK, so that didn’t really happen.  But what is true is that one day John discovered this huge plant growing right where you see it in the picture, looking exactly like this.

He called me outside, and I couldn’t believe my eyes.  How could that thing have grown so big without either one of us having noticed it??!!

It makes me believe that the story of the bean-stalk could actually be true!

Well, almost…


KELLY AND THE GIANT ASPARAGUS - A TALL TALE